Retirement

[JoGee]

What can I say. He just may drive me nuts!

He gives me interesting stuff to read, then while I'm trying to read he dis telling me about the interesting articles in his next news magazine.

Today I said dinner would be ready shortly. Him: Oops, he'd better bring the trash can in; might as well go pick up the mail; uh oh, he forgot to buy milk this morning. He's gone. I know he will probably return with a candy bar for me...one of his many gifting habits. I put the veggies n the microwave on low to stay warm; the mini meatloaf cups will survive under waxed paper and a kitchen towel.

He still hasn't found his power supply that he "stuck in a safe place" while we were gone to WA. It goes to the computer he's building "my website" from. Heaven only knows when I can post my vacation pictures now. Yes, he's getting forgetful. He's also hard of hearing, and doesn't wear his hearing aids.

Oh well. Life will be getting only more interesting.

[hrhouse1]

It only gets better, JoG. WR retired 15 yrs. ago and there are some mornings I don't even want to open my eyes.

But I love him so I just shake my head - grab my crossword puzzle and head for the back bathroom.....best place to find some peace & quiet.

[JoGee]

That's pretty much my attitude, too. He is the love of my life, and I figure it'll all come together in time. Can you believe it'll be a year in about 7 weeks?
Gotta get him to move his electronics out of the dining area. Its a nook, really, barely room for the table. He'd like to cut the table in half and get a treadmill for me in there. No way! I think its a hair brained idea. I'm sure we could make room elsewhere. But a smaller table would be a good idea; it would not have room for electronics and iPads and a laptop. We eat in the LR at this point.
I will be glad when my little world isn't feeling so topsy turvey. But in the end I know it'll all work out.
He has suddenly come to understand we are different people. He's accepting that he may feel overheated while I'm feeling chilly. Its 100° outside, and I carry a sweater because everyplace we go has A/C, usually overdone. Even at home, I hate the cold air rushing on my skin. Last evening he noticed I was using my lapghan, so reset the temp up a degree or two so I'd be comfy.....and didn't act like he'd melt. That's a first! Compromises are being made on both sides now.

[determined]

Jo, Kenny doesn't read except on-line news, his thing is "you need to watch this movie it is really good" and lets just say his kind of movie and mine don't match. Plus I've found that he sleeps through most of the movies and so he doesn't realize the stupid endings of most of them.

Awhile back the phone rang and Kenny said he was going to take the other Kenny to the bank, I told him that supper was in the oven and would be done in an hour. 10 minutes before it was done he came in the door and tells me "I just have to drop Kenny off and I'll be right back" he could see that I was just getting the potatoes ready to mash and veggies going. 40 minutes later he comes back in the door and had no idea why I was upset.

[JoGee]

E reads all the time. We don't have TV on except to watch taped shows for an hour or two in the evening. We enjoy the same type of shows. Neither of us like action movies, anything grey ---I particularly hate grossly scary ones (thanks to being forced to watch Boris Karloff during late hours when I was a child!). We enjoy "chick flicks", even some animated cartoons, comedies, Sherlock Holmes. I can't take graphic war movies, or anything with filthy language or nudity-for-the-sake-of-nudity. E gets to watch movies at the Red Cross, as it takes 3 hours to draw the platelets.

That was the first time E did errands while supper was nearly ready. It doesn't bother me so much, as I can keep it warm....he likes his food closer to room temperature anyway. I'd rather have mine fresh and hot, but after raising 5 kids, you get used to most delays.
But, sometimes its "wait til I get this breadboard finished...just a couple of minutes", or some such thing. Electronics and computers are his thing. Things I can get wrapped up with are getting fewer, as my fingers and hands are often achey. But I have days when I say I don't want to cook or go out to dinner, will you run and get frozen dinners. He doesn't hesitate to, and beings back 2 or 3 sets of frozen dinners that we like, and the rest go in the freezer for another time. The supermarket is just down the street and around the corner.

I guess the thing is, for 40 years I had the house to myself at least 8 hours a day, and my own agenda.
Now he's with me 24/7. My normal agenda is shattered, stretched, twisted....whatever. I think we both are slowly readjusting to life changes. The good thing is that I have been getting chauffeured everywhere. I need to get myself a booster seat-cushion for the car, so I can see where the front end stops. During my senior years I have shrunk from 5'4-3/4" to 5'1-1/2". (That 3-1/4" has made a difference, but not in a good way, for me. I really miss it.)

[JoGee]

AHA! I found the secret to get his butt moving. He obviously feels guilty if I get up and start cleaning; so he gets up out of his chair and finds chores to do (not in the area of where I'm working). I've been mopping floors today, ran the vac, dragged him to the grocery store. He cleaned up the storage room, got stuff ready for us to sort out later, did a few other odds a ends (including moving stuff that I can't budge. He will be good and tired tonight. Right now, I'm in my chair with my feet up, back hurting some. Groceries are put away. He's in his chair, tired, reading. I have a load of throw rugs in the dryer so will place them back when they're dry. I still need to make supper tonight. I'm just delighted with today's progress. I still see a few spots in the kitchen that need wiping down.
Waiting to hear from GD, if she will let her son have my Harry Potter book collection. Guess I'll offer the Twilight series to my younger GDs. Decorating/Gardening books will go to DDs.
Now E will have to reduce his overflowing supply of reading material. *evil grin*

[boffler]

My hubby has not retired yet, but he sure keeps talking about it and I know it is not going to be pretty when he does..he is a very stubborn man, has a heart of gold, will help me when needed, runs the sweeper each week, will cook breakfast on the weekend, will do some grocery shopping for me when I am not feeling so good, BUT, if you ask/tell him the garage is a mess and needs cleaned up, he will just look at you and dig his heels in and not do it no matter what. Outside he will leave things laying around and I will ask him to pick them up and put them away, he says he already had one Mother doesn't need another one telling him what to do, I could go on and on but it would not change anything..when it comes right down to it, he is a slob and it really bothers me and since it doesn't bother him he says it is my problem..the top of his chest of drawer in the bedroom is covered with nails, screws, tools, hats, sales receipts, etc. looks horrible, well guess what, it bothers me, not him...clothes laying on the floor on his side of the bed instead of the hamper...yeah you guessed it, doesn't bother him...I use to be younger and healthier and just did it instead of arguing or hearing insults, not anymore...and he is also careless, I don't know how many things of mine have been broken because he doesn't take care of things...Do I sound awful? Because on the other hand he would do anything to help me, loves to help others, is a good husband, father, son and sibling, doesn't drink very often and no tobacco products, always home, etc. and I love him dearly...
So I do dread his retirement, I may have to get a strong nerve pill just to exist...

[Schmitty]

Used to hate when my husband played solitaire with real cards....used to slap each card as he placed them on the table .... grind my teeth I did. Now that he is gone...I would welcome the noise......miss him still ... he passed in 1998..

[JoGee]

My hubby got me hooked on my computer, then iPads. ((I don't think I shall ever be hooked on my iPhone, though.)
But he is hooked on his computers and various pads. He has spent half of his retirement time on them. Most of the time I have no dining area, because it's full of laptops, pads, soldering equipment, laminator, and electronic parts and the little bitty things that stick into them. Hasn't done much else. But he does take the time to help me with things I can't do, because my hands are weak and sore. For when he's not here, I have a drawer full of tools and gadgets that work for me. I load the dishwasher; he hand-scrubs the pots and pans for me. October marks the 1st year of retirement. He promises to get busy with things after that.
Just to be sure, I plan to work up a schedule for waking, working, and enough hours of relaxation at days end. Getting him to toss stuff isn't easy. But he did go through a large stack of magazines and books, and tossed most of them the other day. They were really obsolete. He isn't done yet.
He isn't as handy as my dad used to be. So far he did something to the back door, so I have trouble opening it. He's promised to work on it. He has done something to the LR blinds; they cannot open, but they can be raised or lowered. He has set the TV to digital stations (reruns of old shows we've enjoyed), because every time we ask Cox for the Tucson TV listings, we get Phoenix listings.....he pointed it out to them, but they get all confused and don't understand why Tucson and Phoenix Metro are not the same. We will be getting another TV service, eventually. Meanwhile, he has 2 different remotes, with different purposes, and I have no idea how to use them, what they specifically do, and a afraid to try lest I seriously screw something up.
Mostly, I just take a deep breath, then work around these things.. He is who he is. I am not without faults, either. He has learned to deal with my idiosyncrasies, and I his. Oh, on occasion I might even find myself gritting my teeth til I get over whatever reason. I had been thinking, that he is 77 and while he thinks his heart problem is all fixed, I think that once the body has a problem, even a repaired one, it's there for another time. Never push your luck! And the day he is gone, I know how much I'll miss him.