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We normally don't see the kids at Christmas -- or any holiday -- unless we go to their homes. They all used to meet at one house each month, so it often was whatever holiday/birthday fell that month. Pot luck. White Elephant swap in December.
Then there was a fallout among them that took several years to repair, but the get-togethers diminished, too.
So this year, the first stop was 2 daughters with their daughters, on Saturday.
The girls gave hugs then went upstairs to do whatever teenagers do.
One daughter took me aside and told me the discoveries and woes she had been blind to in her marriage. Her daughter is not aware of it, but thinks her dad is wonderful, and struggling to support them. DD will leave it that way; however, every word from him for 15 yrs has been a big lie, and she doesn't know him at all....so they are separated. She is taking a heavy college load to be a Physical Therapist before the end of summer 2015. Meanwhile, she lost her house and she and her daughter are living with her son until she graduates and can get a job and apartment of her own.
In the meantime, I don't have to worry too much about her. Her ex-DH heard what happened. Apparently over the years he never remarried, though he has a live-in 'girlfriend'....the guy has taken stock of himself, and done a 180° turnaround. He insisted on taking her grocery shopping and paid for it, making sure she had a decent food supply. Asked what her Dau. needed, for herself, school, anything. Told my DD that any time she needs something, to just call him. He's not pushing the relationship, but yeah he'd take her back in a heartbeat. He knows he hurt her badly, so he won't have any strings attached for any help he gives her. And she won't take more than she needs for her and her Dau to survive.
The other DD is doing well enough, but we don't see her DH around these days. I didn't ask. I know there had been some problems.
Then went to the 3rd DD's house, were surprised with presents there, took her and her son to dinner, which she snuck out and paid for. Had a nice visit.
I only got to text GD there, as she had to work that night and a patient escaped the ER.
So we chatted about a few things via texting. Nice.
We crashed at the motel after that. I was sick when I got up Sunday, and thought I had food poisoning from the previous night's dinner. And enroute to son's house we stopped and Ellis bought stomach remedies for me. A multi-purpose Immodium relieved me of all pains and discomfort within seconds! Then on to son's. Had a nice visit for 4 hours. I guess he forgot we were coming, as neither of them had combed their hair, although they had dressed in their most casual clothes. They surprised us with a gift, a couple of bottles of homemade wine, and a bag of fresh-picked lemons.
When we left, we got to the end of the block, the exit was blocked by tow trucks, smashed cars, police cars, ambulances, paramedic vehicles, and traffic waiting for things to clear up so they could move on. We had to find an alternative exit, then since the interstate was blocked we went for a lunch/dinner at Applebee's, then browsed through Target. By then we could get onto the interstate. We got back to the motel at about 6 p.m., and crashed. We were tired. And we both felt cold, the temps had dropped from the mid 60's to the 50's.
This morning we found a nearby Denny's for breakfast. Then onward to home. Had minestrone for lunch. Have no idea about supper tonight, but will come up with something.
Our youngest will likely send gift cards before Christmas. We will get a call or two and a few texts.
This year, no tree, no decorations to speak of, except fake poinsettias in vases and flower pots. No muss, no fuss this year. We both have less energy this year than before. E will be 78 in January, and I don't want him on ladders with lights 'n stuff.
Not the kind of holidays I envisioned in the past, but I'm sure with so many years I couldn't round them up due to my health problems, has caused the changes in focus for us all.
Then there was a fallout among them that took several years to repair, but the get-togethers diminished, too.
So this year, the first stop was 2 daughters with their daughters, on Saturday.
The girls gave hugs then went upstairs to do whatever teenagers do.
One daughter took me aside and told me the discoveries and woes she had been blind to in her marriage. Her daughter is not aware of it, but thinks her dad is wonderful, and struggling to support them. DD will leave it that way; however, every word from him for 15 yrs has been a big lie, and she doesn't know him at all....so they are separated. She is taking a heavy college load to be a Physical Therapist before the end of summer 2015. Meanwhile, she lost her house and she and her daughter are living with her son until she graduates and can get a job and apartment of her own.
In the meantime, I don't have to worry too much about her. Her ex-DH heard what happened. Apparently over the years he never remarried, though he has a live-in 'girlfriend'....the guy has taken stock of himself, and done a 180° turnaround. He insisted on taking her grocery shopping and paid for it, making sure she had a decent food supply. Asked what her Dau. needed, for herself, school, anything. Told my DD that any time she needs something, to just call him. He's not pushing the relationship, but yeah he'd take her back in a heartbeat. He knows he hurt her badly, so he won't have any strings attached for any help he gives her. And she won't take more than she needs for her and her Dau to survive.
The other DD is doing well enough, but we don't see her DH around these days. I didn't ask. I know there had been some problems.
Then went to the 3rd DD's house, were surprised with presents there, took her and her son to dinner, which she snuck out and paid for. Had a nice visit.
I only got to text GD there, as she had to work that night and a patient escaped the ER.
So we chatted about a few things via texting. Nice.
We crashed at the motel after that. I was sick when I got up Sunday, and thought I had food poisoning from the previous night's dinner. And enroute to son's house we stopped and Ellis bought stomach remedies for me. A multi-purpose Immodium relieved me of all pains and discomfort within seconds! Then on to son's. Had a nice visit for 4 hours. I guess he forgot we were coming, as neither of them had combed their hair, although they had dressed in their most casual clothes. They surprised us with a gift, a couple of bottles of homemade wine, and a bag of fresh-picked lemons.
When we left, we got to the end of the block, the exit was blocked by tow trucks, smashed cars, police cars, ambulances, paramedic vehicles, and traffic waiting for things to clear up so they could move on. We had to find an alternative exit, then since the interstate was blocked we went for a lunch/dinner at Applebee's, then browsed through Target. By then we could get onto the interstate. We got back to the motel at about 6 p.m., and crashed. We were tired. And we both felt cold, the temps had dropped from the mid 60's to the 50's.
This morning we found a nearby Denny's for breakfast. Then onward to home. Had minestrone for lunch. Have no idea about supper tonight, but will come up with something.
Our youngest will likely send gift cards before Christmas. We will get a call or two and a few texts.
This year, no tree, no decorations to speak of, except fake poinsettias in vases and flower pots. No muss, no fuss this year. We both have less energy this year than before. E will be 78 in January, and I don't want him on ladders with lights 'n stuff.
Not the kind of holidays I envisioned in the past, but I'm sure with so many years I couldn't round them up due to my health problems, has caused the changes in focus for us all.
