Christmas Eve at my house Tradition

[Mayebarnes]

I started inviting my parents, and some of my married kids to come to my church Christmas eve, since I played the organ and David needed company to set with him... then we would back to house, eat and then made it gift exchange. night.... Plus I then would have a bunch for Dinner C. Day..

this was what we did for years. then Dad and then Mom passed ... the married kids had kids.. and I made the decision one year to Drop the Christmas Day dinner. so the grandkids could stay at home and enjoy their gift opening ....
but I continued the Christmas Eve .. and thus it became a Tradition to go to NANAs. and I loved it... BUT.. I am getting tired.. and the family is growing.. 9 grands (8 will be here hopefully this year) have now grown to 13.. two fiances and two spouses. its still lots of fun .but this little old Nana is ready to turn it over to someone younger... ........ when Daugh Karen and I mentioned it ..her youngest , Bethany, ( also the baby grand).. had a melt down..... she not ready to let go of Tradition....I am in mixed mode... I want to continue because I'm afraid if I stop,, the family will gradually drift apart as their families get bigger.... which is normal...

ok .what do you think...... should I keep on doing this ?.

OH by the way.... we also tend to invite any one who is Alone!.... last year it was the lady from the local Hardware store who is Alone.... we also always have granddaughter in laws Mother who lives alone... and a Daug in law's Sister . who is Alone.. ... and any stray folks who come into view...

hey Val.. come on up..

[karlinann]

What a lovely tradition for you and your family, and I might have a solution for you to keep this holiday tradition alive and working for you. First of all you need to have a family meeting and designate your children and kin folk to participate and divide up the food, and all that goes with planning a meal. They should be able to prepare and bring all the food for a meal. There are countless dishes that can made ahead, frozen and reheated. Someone can be in charge of the drinks and someone can do the flatware, paper plates, (the really good ones), napkins and etc., all disposable of course, and then you can have someone in charge of the dessert. One of the teenagers can be in charge of the games, music, and various entertainment ideas. They are so savvy about that anyway and it will challenge them to please all the ages. One or two of the boys or men can have the large garbage can ready to toss all that paper products and empty the trash afterwards. No dishwasher to load and unload.


Maye, just think about it and email them with this idea and see if they bite. My mom stopped all of her cooking and having the family home for the holidays because she was simply not able to do it. Think about it, you are the Matron of the Barnes family and it's time for you to gently release the reins of such a demanding Soiree. Basically what you'll be doing is using positive psychology, but the beauty of it all is that you will still be the center of it all and shining outward and onward and bringing all of them together for that precious time to share. Sharing. That's the magic.

[Paula A]

In addition to what karlinann said, I am Big on Writing my thoughts down. Like What would make this tradition easier?
What causes stress or hardship? Just for you to find real answers, then you can include one or two to discuss and then take it to other family members....just my way of focusing on my situation.
And if I was invited ( as an alone non family person) I would offer to bring something and would welcome an invitation to bring something. Maybe being asked what my family traditions were growing up and bringing something.
You might also think of how this tradition will (or won't) transition from your house in the future.
I have to say, one Nana to another, I love what you have made into a Christmas tradition!

[Mayebarnes]

Karlin , thanks for all the good ideas.. I have sort of scaled down my part of the cooking... I make home made buns for sandwiches .early in the month... then plan a filling to make sandwich.something like sloppy joe. bbq port. and get one of the girls to make and bring ... I make the big pot of some sort of soup..this year it will be Beef,Bacon Chowder. .. make it up on C. Eve morning .. then set out on porch. to cool down.. Protected from weather and animals of course. When we get home from Church. with help I make the big pot of oyster stew.... my one frivolous treat... with crackers....
All other food.. snackys ,, desserts .. munchies .. they bring ...I do have a candy dish setting full of goodies. .
This year I have started the clearing of spaces and cleaning, early... have a good start on it already..

I do like the idea of asking the older teen, grands to take charge of the games... and include the 14 year old ...and will ask her to be in charge of decorating. !..
and I will ask the married ladies to really do the cleanup...

not sure I want to be the center of it .. just want to set down and enjoy it!... my kids get along really well and have so much fun when they are together...
Though about your remarks Paula. getting the help before the evening would make it easier.. I want them to come as long as they want to.... I don't want them coming in the door. late and acting like it was such a hassle to get here..
when that starts to happen.. I will not want to continue .... I will go to someone elses house. weather permitting.

how it goes this year will be my guideline for the future... and for all of you alone.. I sure wish You could be here..

God has been good . blessed me with a great family of my own.. and a great family of friends on the R.T.

[Nalani]

Karlinann, those are wonderful ideas, especially for us that are getting older. There is a time to let go and let the younger generation take over.

[LisaUK]

It can still be at your house, but people need to step up to the plate. Make it a pot luck, delegate clean up duties, and tell them Nana needs to sit and enjoy herself after all these years.

[Schmitty23]

This has worked out for me.....my daughter Marianne who is the first born of my children.....talks to each of the families and lets them choose what they want to bring...she advises them on what our theme is for the event....if they don't make a choice...she tells them what they can choose from and go from there. It is working out best for me.....standing for too long does give me problems with my arthritic knees and also my back... I still do cook....but not as much as in past years...will be 82 in January...cannot believe I have made it this long.. guess it is an indication on how faithful I am to my diabetic and heart health eating .... problem with me now is I keep losing weight....trying to eat more...hard to force myself if I am not hungry. I am now down to 118.....was up to 121...not sure what happened. Hannah keeps reminding me to eat meat...which I really don't very often.

I so look forward to our family gatherings...we had a wonderful Thanksgiving...not only my immediate family...but my granddaughter Libby's whole family came in from Columbus on the Friday after Thanksgiving....was such fun to see them all...have not since Libby and Mark and family are in Iowa now.. Mark talked me into making Spaghetti with sausage and meatballs...which I did...and they all ate every meatball I made... 30 of them LOL!