Cookie re my mother

[bethina]

My mom seems to be holding her own through this entire ordeal! How she has kept from going nuts is a question in itself. She is my granny's PA for medical so anytime the nursing home feels the need to send granny out mom has to go be there as well. She is meeting herself coming and going. She and her siblings should be moving granny to her new place in assisted living on Friday. Find this place for my granny to live were she will hopefully be happy has been an ordeal in itself! Nothing has been good enough for my granny.

I feel like mom needs to step in and make some of the decisions that they are allowing granny to still make. I feel like they need to just make the choices and tell Granny that is how its going to be but they are allowing granny to have control of the situation...

Physically I think that mom is doing ok now...

I am also trying to do as much on my own as I can. Only asking when I really really need help.

We all will be so glad for things to calm down.

[JoGee]

As long as your granny is in her right mind, they need to come as close as they can to make her happy.
If they can't afford exactly what she wishes, they need to tell her, and make compromises.

I certainly wouldn't have my kids making those decisions, if they wouldn't go along with my desires.
Because then I'd spend my last days being miserable. But when I'm *unable* to make the decisions for myself, that's different.

And that's the key to being a PA. To take the best possible care of me until my time is up. To make the decisions that I can't.

[Paula A]

Is PA for patient advocate?

[bethina]

Paula PA is Power of attorney. Mom is able to help make granny's medical decisions. Granny is enough in her right mind to make things difficult. She knows what she wants and knows that she can't have that...its just not medically possible or safe for her to have her own appartment any more....Assisted living is the safest choice and she does still have some independence...but some one to check on her daily and help with the things she can't do on her own.

I was not saying that granny shouldn't be allowed to have a say..I just feel like she needs to trust mom a little bit more than she has.

[determined]

Beth, your Mom should talk to your Granny's Dr. The Dr can then say if she is medically able to live on her own or not and if not he can tell your granny so. Sometimes if the Dr. sits down with the whole family and makes it clear then things work out.

[JoGee]

That's a very good point, determined.

[bethina]

I am thinking that has happened....Granny just wants what she wants..I think that once she gets to her new place and surrounded by her stuff and settled into her new routine she will be fine.